Want to be happier? You may need to think more about death
Want to Be Happier? Consider the Power of Mortality
Want to be happier You may need – As part of CNN’s Original Series, “Kara Swisher Wants to Live Forever” delves into the evolving quest for extended life through the lens of Swisher’s personal journey and the insights of experts. The series highlights how individuals and movements are redefining what it means to age gracefully, live longer, and find fulfillment in the process. This exploration goes beyond mere survival, addressing the emotional and psychological dimensions of longevity. A key theme emerges: the deliberate inclusion of death in daily life may be a vital tool for cultivating happiness and reducing anxiety.
The Bhutanese Practice and Swisher’s Reflection
Journalist Kara Swisher, known for her sharp insights into technology and society, has adopted a unique approach to well-being. She begins each day by reading quotes about death, not as a preoccupation with demise, but as a deliberate practice inspired by Bhutanese traditions. In this small Himalayan nation, the concept of “gross national happiness” incorporates mindfulness of mortality as a way to prioritize life’s meaningful aspects. Swisher explains, “By considering death five times a day, we’re reminded of the finite nature of time, which can sharpen our focus on what truly matters.”
Mortality as a Catalyst for Emotional Resilience
Research underscores the potential of mortality awareness to transform emotional experiences. A 2007 study found that reflecting on death can enhance an individual’s ability to connect with positive emotions, creating a psychological buffer against anxiety. Similarly, a 2017 analysis linked open discussions about death to a reduction in fear associated with it. These findings suggest that confronting mortality isn’t about dwelling on negativity, but about reorienting one’s mindset to appreciate life’s impermanence.
Dr. Brian Carpenter, a psychological and brain sciences professor at Washington University in St. Louis, notes that many Americans shy away from acknowledging death. “This avoidance can amplify fear and unpreparedness for the end of life,” he explains. However, embracing mortality as a natural part of existence can foster community and a sense of purpose. Swisher adds, “When you accept that life is temporary, it becomes a call to action. You’re not here forever—what will you do with the time you have?”
Cultural Perceptions and the Fear of Aging
Dr. Erin Emery-Tiburcio, a geropsychologist at Rush University in Chicago, highlights how cultural narratives shape our relationship with aging. She argues that the fear of death often stems from societal stereotypes that equate old age with decline, pain, and loss. “When younger generations lack meaningful interactions with older adults who are thriving, they internalize the idea that aging is inherently negative,” Emery-Tiburcio says. This mindset can lead to a self-fulfilling cycle where anxiety about mortality discourages proactive health behaviors.
Yet, the same fear can be reframed as a source of motivation. Emery-Tiburcio emphasizes, “Focusing on the things we can control—like maintaining relationships, staying active, or embracing change—can turn fear into a tool for growth.” She points to bereavement as a powerful opportunity: “Losing a loved one is painful, but it also allows us to express what we hold dear, leave a legacy, and let go of what no longer serves us.” This balance between acceptance and action is central to the practice of mortality contemplation.
Positive Aging and the Path to Longevity
A 2002 study revealed that individuals with optimistic views on aging are more likely to live longer. The research, which tracked participants over time, found that those who saw aging as a time of growth rather than decline had significantly lower risks of early death. This suggests that how we perceive the later stages of life can influence our physical and mental health. Emery-Tiburcio notes, “A positive outlook doesn’t erase the challenges of illness or loss—it simply shifts the focus from fear to possibility.”
Swisher aligns with this idea, advocating for a proactive approach to mortality. “The more you internalize the idea that aging is not just about decline, the more you’re likely to take steps to care for yourself,” she says. This includes lifestyle changes that reduce health risks by up to 40%, as highlighted by Carpenter. By recognizing the limited time we have, we can make choices that align with our values and goals.
Preparing for the Inevitable
According to Carpenter, preparing for death doesn’t require eliminating fear—it involves using it constructively. “The second step is to ask, ‘What can I do with this fear?’” he advises. This could mean organizing personal affairs, discussing end-of-life wishes with loved ones, or engaging in practices that give life a sense of direction. “By acknowledging mortality, we create a framework for meaningful living,” he says.
Many cultures have long structured their lives around death, embedding it into rituals, traditions, and daily habits. In contrast, modern Western societies often treat death as an abstract concept, leaving individuals to grapple with it alone. Emery-Tiburcio suggests that communal mourning and shared reflections on life’s end can provide deeper insights. “When we process grief with others, we’re less likely to suppress difficult emotions,” she says. “This collective approach helps us learn about our own lives and values.”
Swisher’s journey illustrates how mortality can become a source of inspiration rather than dread. By integrating death into her routine, she not only reduces anxiety but also deepens her appreciation for the present. “Thinking about death isn’t about sadness—it’s about clarity,” she says. “It reminds us that time is our most precious resource, and we must use it wisely.” This perspective challenges the notion that avoiding death is the key to happiness, instead proposing that embracing it can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Conclusion: The Balance of Fear and Grace
While fear of death is natural, its impact on well-being depends on how we respond to it. Emery-Tiburcio reminds us that “the fear of suffering, not death itself, is often what holds us back.” By reevaluating our cultural attitudes and adopting a more intentional relationship with mortality, we can transform anxiety into motivation. The Bhutanese model offers a compelling framework: a daily practice of reflection, combined with a community-oriented approach, can help us navigate the complexities of aging with grace.
Ultimately, the act of thinking about death becomes a lens through which we view life. It encourages us to prioritize what truly matters, whether it’s relationships, personal growth, or legacy. As Swisher’s story shows, this shift in perspective isn’t just about extending life—it’s about living it more fully. The next time you feel anxious about the end, consider how contemplating it might help you cherish the present.